{"id":4085,"date":"2023-10-01T02:08:13","date_gmt":"2023-10-01T02:08:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/funnymuscle.com\/?p=4085"},"modified":"2023-10-03T21:55:37","modified_gmt":"2023-10-03T21:55:37","slug":"diary-of-americas-shrink-gdp-and-systemic-racism","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/funnymuscle.com\/diary-of-americas-shrink-gdp-and-systemic-racism\/","title":{"rendered":"Diary of America\u2019s Shrink: GDP and Systemic Racism"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"4085\" class=\"elementor elementor-4085\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-f72f9bb elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"f72f9bb\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column 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class=\\\"widgettitle\\\">\",\"after_title\":\"<\\\/h3>\",\"widget_id\":\"arbitrary-instance-67baa1c066c71\"}  \n        <\/script><script>if(typeof setIronAudioplayers !== \"undefined\"){ setIronAudioplayers(\"arbitrary-instance-67baa1c066c71\"); }<\/script><\/article>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-07d7143 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"07d7143\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-1537fab\" data-id=\"1537fab\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b812c80 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"b812c80\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<h4><strong><em>*** Warning: these notes are for personal and private use only ***<\/em><\/strong><\/h4><p><strong>Monday, October 2, 2023<\/strong><\/p><p><strong><em>From the Desk of Klaus Terrance Corbin, MD<\/em><\/strong><\/p><p><strong>Initial Notes<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 regarding new client:<\/p><ul><li><strong>Name:\u00a0<\/strong><a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/United_States\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">America<\/a>\u00a0the Country<\/li><li><strong>Nickname:\u00a0<\/strong>Uncle Sam<\/li><li><strong>Birth Date:\u00a0<\/strong>7\/4\/1776<\/li><li><strong>Age:\u00a0<\/strong>247-years<\/li><li><strong>Weight:\u00a0<\/strong>76 billion collective pounds (&lt;&lt;&lt; possible obesity situation)<\/li><li><strong>Height:\u00a0<\/strong>@ 5\u2019 9\u201d<\/li><li><strong>Health Plan:\u00a0<\/strong>out-of-pocket<\/li><li>At his initial consultation, America told check-in specialist (<a href=\"https:\/\/funnymuscle.com\/funny-muscle-mike-lukas-home\/about-mike-lukas-funny-muscle\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Claudia<\/a>) that he\u2019s been suffering from major depression and social anxiety mixed with violent tendencies<\/li><li>symptoms include unchecked weight gain, financial struggles, difficulty with business and personal relationships, unbalanced priorities, loss of purpose<\/li><li>has never been to psychotherapist prior, has expressed doubts about the process, said it was for \u201cwimps and celebrities\u201d<\/li><li>Possible unresolved parental issues, narcissism, in denial of a guilt-complex.<\/li><\/ul>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-5fb3502 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"5fb3502\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-85007f1\" data-id=\"85007f1\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-281ac3e elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"281ac3e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<h3><strong><em>Partial transcript of today\u2019s session:<\/em><\/strong><\/h3><p><strong>Dr. Klaus T Corbin: <\/strong>Hello, America. Please, have a seat.<\/p><p><strong>America:<\/strong> Come on, Doc. Call me Uncle Sam. Notice anything different?<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> Well \u2026 Uncle Sam, it looks like you\u2019ve trimmed your beard.<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> Yup. Also got a new suit and took a bath. Had to go meet up with some foreigners I know over at the G7. I clean up nice, huh Doc?<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> You certainly seem more energized this week.<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> Hell yeah, I just snorted an Adderall. Well, two, so I\u2019m flying.<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> Uncle Sam, it concerns me that you\u2019re using drugs and alcohol together.<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> Yeah, well it concerns me that your office smells like Old Spice and beef nachos and that you blast Barry Manilow in your waiting room and that you\u2019re wearing brown shoes with that black suit of yours, but you don\u2019t hear me complaining.<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> Now you seem on edge.<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> Hell yeah I\u2019m on edge. All you ever do is bring up my negatives. What about my positives?<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> We can talk about those today, Uncle Sam. What would you consider to be your best qualities?<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> Where do I start? Fact: I\u2019m good looking \u2013 my lakes and oil reserves are deep, my mountains are solid, and I\u2019m sure you\u2019ve seen the size of my Florida. Heh.<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> Go on.<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> Fact: I\u2019m loaded AND I\u2019m the most generous country in the world.<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> Is that true?<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> Look it up, Doc. Got <a href=\"https:\/\/worldpopulationreview.com\/countries\/countries-by-gdp\">the #1 GDP<\/a> and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.axios.com\/2022\/03\/09\/america-charitable-giving-stats-ukraine\">I\u2019ve been tops on the World Giving Index for over a decade<\/a>.<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> How does that level of wealth and generosity make you feel?<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> Half the time like a champ, the other half like a chump.<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> In what way?<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> All the other countries think I\u2019m a sucker for giving away cash to the broke folk.<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> Why are you so concerned about what other countries think of you?<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> See? There you go again talking about my flaws.<\/p><h5><strong>Note: Patient is sweating profusely and grinding his teeth.<\/strong><\/h5><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> You said that earlier, that all I do is bring up your negatives. Talk about that some more.<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> Yeah, you seem to get off on pointing out my flaws, Doc, like you\u2019re so perfect.<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> You do understand that it\u2019s my job to help you face all those shadowy parts of yourself as a country.<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> Well, shit, Doc, you\u2019re really earning your money there. All we ever do is talk about what a dick America apparently is. But I\u2019m a fucking awesome country.<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> Tell me, Uncle Sam, are you uncomfortable talking with me about your shortcomings?<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> What shortcomings? I\u2019m the greatest country in the world. AmIright?<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> Uncle Sam, you know that\u2019s not true. Right now overall <a href=\"https:\/\/www.usnews.com\/news\/best-countries\/overall-rankings\">you\u2019re ranked fifth best in the world<\/a>.<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> Oh, that\u2019s right, your side squeeze Switzerland is supposedly number one.<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> Do you feel you deserve that honor more than she does?<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> That racist, mountain-laced alpine whore acts holier than thou with her silly cuckoo clocks, populated with those pompous cheese-and-chocolate eating yodelers. No way she\u2019s number one.<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> Among blatant stereotypes, you just called Switzerland a racist.<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> So? It\u2019s true. Ask any African tourist there.<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> What about you, Uncle Sam. Are you a racist?<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> Nope.<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> Hm.<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> Hm what?<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> You don\u2019t consider yourself even a little racist as a country?<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> Used to be. Not anymore. Next subject.<\/p><h5><strong>Note: Patient has covered his ears and is singing Copa Cabana; this lasts for almost a minute.<\/strong><\/h5><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> Are you uncomfortable talking about your racist tendencies, Uncle Sam?<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> Old news. Been there, done that, moved on. Next subject.<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> Have you considered the possibility that you might still have some of that in you?<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> Some of what in me, racism? Pff, impossible.<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> Why is that?<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> I don\u2019t know, ask my first black president, Barack? Or Oprah? Or any one of the three Michaels?<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> Three?<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> Jordan? Jackson? Jaggar? Take your pick.<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> Wait, Mick Jaggar isn\u2019t Black.<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> Agree to disagree. Point is, I can\u2019t be racist and still be responsible for that many black millionaires.<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> But Uncle Sam, have you examined yourself systemically?<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> Yeah, like when I hired Lewis and Clark to examine my untamed wilderness? Those idiots <a href=\"https:\/\/www.history.com\/news\/10-little-known-facts-about-the-lewis-and-clark-expedition\">couldn&#8217;t find even one woolly mammoth<\/a>.<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> I\u2019m more wondering, do you think it could be true that critical parts of your American society were structured at a time when blatant racism ruled your choices? And that now there is an entire group of people still suffering the consequences of those unfairly designed systems you set up back then and still use today?<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> Haters gonna hate, Doc. Whiners gonna whine.<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> You don\u2019t feel at all responsible for their current situation?<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> What situation? I\u2019ve got black NFL quarterbacks now, black CEO\u2019s and GM\u2019s, and I got the Rock, whatever he is.<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> What if all those achievements were made despite a clear disadvantage on an unfair playing field?<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> Not my job to spoon feed Americans, Doc.<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> But Uncle Sam, you\u2019re forgetting that not that long ago, you thought it was perfectly okay to own those people like livestock.<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> Oh, come on. We\u2019ve all done stupid shit when we were young.<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> Now that you\u2019re older and wiser\u2026<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> Goddamn right I am.<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> \u2026how beneficial do you think it might be for your personal growth to examine how your blatantly racist past is still affecting your present day societal systems?<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> I&#8217;d kinda rather do shots and another line of Addys.<\/p><h5><strong>Note: Patient has snorted a white substance from a pinky nail and has taken a swig from his flask.<\/strong><\/h5><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> Perhaps it&#8217;s time to take another look at all your systems: financial, judicial, educational, health, real estate, access to voting; all the systems that still seem rigged against people of color thanks to your old Jim Crow laws.<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> Oh, come on, Jim and I haven\u2019t talked for years, Doc. I\u2019ve even taken down most of his statues and flags.<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> After they made you do it.<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> Whatever.<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> But what if all those systemic racism concerns are true? Aren\u2019t you at all interested in making that right?<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> Ugh, too much work, not enough payoff. Where\u2019s the profit in pickin\u2019 at those old scabs?<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> Perhaps this particular issue isn\u2019t about money.<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> Then perhaps you\u2019re talking to the wrong country, Doc.<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> How do you mean?<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> I\u2019m the United States of Fucking America, pal. Either maximize my profits or get me laid. Otherwise, I have zero interest in what the fuck you\u2019re selling.<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> Let\u2019s calm down, Uncle Sam. Please have a seat again. This racism issue is a touchy one, I know.<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> What the fuck, Doc? For years now I\u2019ve done everything everyone\u2019s asked of me. I freed my slaves \u2013 that cost me a bundle. I let them go to school now and vote. I even let them drink from the same damn water fountains as everyone else. What more do they want?<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> It could be that, ahem, \u201c<em>they<\/em>\u201d want what you promise all Americans.<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> High Def?<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> No, true equality.<\/p><h5><strong>A: Shit, equality? That\u2019s what they want? Are you serious? Equality \u2026 that was meant as a joke. It was part of a dumb slogan Jefferson came up with at the beginning when we were all hammered on mead and brainstorming our marketing funnels.<\/strong><\/h5><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> Regardless, at this point all your citizens are expecting it.<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> We even put &#8220;all <em>men<\/em> are created equal&#8221; just so the joke would be clear. Little Jimmy Madison warned us that women, blacks and the working class would never get the equality schtick.<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> Well, your racism issue isn\u2019t going to go away by ignoring it, Uncle Sam.<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> What do these people want from me? And why the hell are they teaching the kids about what a racist dick I used to be?<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> Maybe just stop a minute and listen to what your people of color have to say.<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> What? Please.<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> Perhaps you can figure out a way to sit down publicly with the Americans having trouble seeking equality and just hear them out. Then maybe tweak a few of those things that don\u2019t seem right.<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> Ugh. That Oprah shit makes me want to throw up.<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> Uncle Sam, does the thought of listening to their painful truths make you that uncomfortable?<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> Of course it does since their truth involves me being the bad guy once again.<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> What if by listening to their concerns and adjusting you become the good guy?<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> Sounds great on paper, but my bosses would never go for it. Doesn\u2019t pay the bills.<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> Your bosses?<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> Whoops, my what? Aren\u2019t we out of time yet?<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> Yes, in fact we are.<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> Great, see you next week, Doc. I\u2019ll think about what you said.<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> You mean about finally being accountable for whatever systemic racism still exists in you?<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> Sure, but I think I&#8217;ll turn it into a huge festival with live music and merch. Call it The American Racial Reckoning, get Nike and Budweiser to sponsor it. Hire Snoop Dogg and Kevin Hart to emcee.\u00a0<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> Uncle Sam, perhaps for such an important historical moment it would be more appropriate and effective to feature well-respected thought leaders of color like the Obamas and Kamala Harris and Cornel West and Rosalind Brewer and Desmond Upton Patton and Amanda Gorman and D. L. Hughley and maybe even invite Jane Elliot.\u00a0<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> Who? How about Oprah and Denzel and Will Smith and either Sam Jackson or Laurence Fishburne, whichever one of them was in the Matrix. Tyler Perry and the Wayans Brothers can co-produce this thing. Morgan Freeman can do the voice overs.<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> I think you&#8217;re missing the&#8230;<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> It\u2019s brilliant, Doc. We\u2019re gonna make millions ending my racism. It&#8217;s so American.<\/p><p><strong>KTC:<\/strong> Good day, Uncle Sam.<\/p><p><strong>A:<\/strong> Goddamn right it is.<\/p><h5><strong>Final Notes:<\/strong><\/h5><ul><li>Patient caught in a manic upswing brought on by mixing alcohol and crushed Adderall.\u00a0\u00a0<\/li><li>Touched some nerves, circle back on slavery, tie in with native issues.<\/li><li>Maximizing profits and &#8220;getting laid&#8221; &#8211; possible theme<\/li><\/ul><h5><strong>Personal Note<\/strong>:\u00a0<\/h5><ul><li>Have Claudia rent &#8220;The Matrix&#8221;\u00a0<\/li><\/ul>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In this session, Uncle Sam talks GDP and systemic racism, too issues that get him all riled up.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4086,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"ocean_post_layout":"","ocean_both_sidebars_style":"","ocean_both_sidebars_content_width":0,"ocean_both_sidebars_sidebars_width":0,"ocean_sidebar":"","ocean_second_sidebar":"","ocean_disable_margins":"enable","ocean_add_body_class":"","ocean_shortcode_before_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_after_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_before_header":"","ocean_shortcode_after_header":"","ocean_has_shortcode":"","ocean_shortcode_after_title":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_bottom":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_bottom":"","ocean_display_top_bar":"default","ocean_display_header":"default","ocean_header_style":"","ocean_center_header_left_menu":"","ocean_custom_header_template":"","ocean_custom_logo":0,"ocean_custom_retina_logo":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_height":0,"ocean_header_custom_menu":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_family":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_subset":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_size":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_unit":"px","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_line_height":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_unit":"","ocean_menu_typo_spacing":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_unit":"","ocean_menu_link_color":"","ocean_menu_link_color_hover":"","ocean_menu_link_color_active":"","ocean_menu_link_background":"","ocean_menu_link_hover_background":"","ocean_menu_link_active_background":"","ocean_menu_social_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_links_color":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_color":"","ocean_disable_title":"default","ocean_disable_heading":"default","ocean_post_title":"","ocean_post_subheading":"","ocean_post_title_style":"","ocean_post_title_background_color":"","ocean_post_title_background":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_image_position":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_attachment":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_repeat":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_size":"","ocean_post_title_height":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay":0.5,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay_color":"","ocean_disable_breadcrumbs":"default","ocean_breadcrumbs_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_separator_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_hover_color":"","ocean_display_footer_widgets":"default","ocean_display_footer_bottom":"default","ocean_custom_footer_template":"","ocean_post_oembed":"","ocean_post_self_hosted_media":"","ocean_post_video_embed":"","ocean_link_format":"","ocean_link_format_target":"self","ocean_quote_format":"","ocean_quote_format_link":"post","ocean_gallery_link_images":"on","ocean_gallery_id":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[442],"tags":[504,290,215,506,500,12,17,508,13,18,41,42,505,502,8,9,503,501,487,292,507,16],"class_list":["post-4085","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-entertainment-content","tag-adderall","tag-america","tag-audio","tag-barry-manilow","tag-blm","tag-comedy","tag-comedy-writing","tag-gdp","tag-humor","tag-humor-writing","tag-laugh","tag-laughter","tag-old-spice","tag-racists","tag-standup","tag-standup-comedy","tag-switzerland","tag-systemic-racism","tag-united-states-of-america","tag-usa","tag-world-giving-index","tag-writing","entry","has-media"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.1 - 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