Well, I caught whatever bug’s been floating around my hometown and it went from my sinuses straight down into my lungs.
All I ever hear is people complaining about being sick.
So I thought I’d take a moment to list out ten reasons I absolutely love it.
- Phlegm Party – Yay, I’ve got a free supply of mother nature’s bubble gum.
2. Nyquil Buzz – it’s like chugging an entire 12-pack without all those pesky calories.
3. Saltine Cracker Diet – finally get to dip into my inventory of salty cardboard.
4. Upgrade My Expectoration Game – here’s to a solid week of toning up my flabby coughing muscles.
5. Shower Break – what a perfect way to save big money on water and soap.
6. Smith Brothers Get Together – wow, I almost forgot how much I love menthol.
7. Bed Staycation – what to do with all this horizontal free time? Hello, Tik Tok algorithm.
8. Cranky Pants – permission to be a curt a-hole granted.
9. Physician Reunion – it’s been too long, doc, how’s the golf game these days?
10. Hot Butler Wife – I think I’ll take my honey lemon tea in the pantry, my dear.
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